Stopping the Elephant

When the Elephant in the Room is Phone Addiction

Face It, We're Addicted

All of us are probably more addicted to electronics than we should be. Since some of us have to use computers for work, we're often on them far more than we'd like. And then there’s the phone....

I have students who are very careful to say, “I’m not addicted to my phone. I just spend too much time on the apps.” A minor distinction, but true. It’s the apps that get us.

The indirect electronic connections are supposed to be for when we can't communicate directly, and how many times do we opt to communicate with someone indirectly via a text or email when there are plenty of people we could be communicating with directly? Here are a couple apps that might help you evaluate your phone usage. iPhone has one built in (see How to See How Much Time is Spent in Apps on iPhone & iPad); here’s a couple for the Android: App Usage Tracker, and Manage/Track Usage. I believe both Android and iPhones now have internal ways of keeping track as well.

Also, take Simon Sinek’s advice in his The Millennial Question"—anything you could do with something other than your phone, do it with that something else. The whole reason they have all those apps on the phone is to keep you on your phone. The alarm is handy, but they want your phone in your hand first thing. They don’t want you to turn off your phone at night so you’ll check it when you wake up even in the middle of the night. That’s why all those conveniences are on the phone—to keep you addicted. Like drug pushers, it’s the addicted ones they make the most money from.

Now, if we do realize there’s something we need to attend, does that obligate us to act on it? James 4:17 says, “Anyone, then, who knows the right thing to do, yet fails to do it, is guilty of sin” (BSB). That's pretty plain. Something to think about?

There are basic steps you can take. Delete apps that are too strong an attraction for you to resist. Turn the screen of your phone gray—believe it or not, the app creators spend millions figuring out what colors are more attractive and will make you come back or stay longer (see To Break a Phone Addiction, Turn Your Screen Gray). Use time limits to make sure you’re not on a particular app too long (Android: How to Set App Time Limits and Block Apps on Android; Mac: Set time limits for apps and websites in Screen Time on Mac).

On top of everything it’s also a spiritual battle. I wrote this out for another student but decided it’s not bad advice for any of us.

Anything you turn to when you're frustrated or bored can become an addiction—food, phone, movies—anything. The dopamine thing is real, and it's good you're on to it now. But like any addiction, it has to be a conscious decision not only to move away from the addictive behavior, but to have something to replace it.

Scripture is pretty clear—Ephesians 4:17-24 sets up the pattern:

“This I say therefore, and affirm together with the Lord, that you walk no longer just as the Gentiles also walk, in the futility of their mind, being darkened in their understanding, excluded from the life of God, because of the ignorance that is in them, because of the hardness of their heart; and they, having become callous, have given themselves over to sensuality, for the practice of every kind of impurity with greediness. But you did not learn Christ in this way, if indeed you have heard Him and have been taught in Him, just as truth is in Jesus, that, in reference to your former manner of life, you lay aside the old self, which is being corrupted in accordance with the lusts of deceit, and that you be renewed in the spirit of your mind, and put on the new self, which in the likeness of God has been created in righteousness and holiness of the truth" (ESV, emph. added).

   1. "Don't act like them" is why you want to avoid it (v. 17)
2. "Lay aside the old self" is the behavior you want to quit (v. 22)
3. "Put on the new self" is the behavior to replace the old behavior (v. 22)
4. "Be renewed in the spirit of your mind" is how you're going to how to do it (v. 23)
5. Being in "the likeness of God... in righteousness and holiness" is the reminder of why you're doing it (v. 24)

God always wants us to replace bad behavior with good behavior. If you don't, it's rather like the parable about the man who threw the unclean spirit out of his house but didn't fill the house with something good and solid.

Luke 11:24-26 says,

When the unclean spirit has gone out of a person, it passes through waterless places seeking rest, and finding none it says, ‘I will return to my house from which I came.’ And when it comes, it finds the house swept and put in order. Then it goes and brings seven other spirits more evil than itself, and they enter and dwell there. And the last state of that person is worse than the first (ESV).

God designed us to be proactive, and if we don't replace one action with another action we get bored and frustrated. Paul praised the Thessalonians for turning from idols, to serve the living God (1 Thessalonians 1:9, ESV, emph. added). Turning from things that are wrong to things that are right is the pattern.

The Galatians 6 passage is important, too. The passage in context is:

Brothers, if anyone is caught in any transgression, you who are spiritual should restore him in a spirit of gentleness. Keep watch on yourself, lest you too be tempted. Bear one another's burdens, and so fulfill the law of Christ. For if anyone thinks he is something, when he is nothing, he deceives himself. But let each one test his own work, and then his reason to boast will be in himself alone and not in his neighbor. For each will have to bear his own load. (ESV, emph. added).

It starts with the need for someone “spiritual” to restore in gentleness. That’s the accountability partner, and they should watch lest they are tempted, too, because if you think you’re a big shot, look out. Then it ends with “let each test his own work.” We need to really examine whether what we’re doing is right, because we each have been given something to carry. The first burden that we’re supposed to help each other with is a massive one that can’t be borne by just one person. The second “load” that we’ve each been given is a small one designed to be carried by one person. The Lord will not “will not let you be tempted beyond what you can bear. But when you are tempted, He will also provide an escape, so that you can stand up under it” (1 Corinthians 10:13).

I'd also encourage you to find someone who feels the same way as you to hold you accountable for your usage. It may seem weird, but it's part of Galatians 6:2 - "Bear one another’s burdens, and thus fulfill the law of Christ." It's not just her helping you, it's how the body of Christ is supposed to work.

I truly believe if we do have a problem it’s something the Lord wants to help us with, and we won’t be able to shake it without Him.

God bless you!

RSumner

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