Breaking the Bonds

What to do when you realize you're addicted

There are lots of articles that tell you what to do when you're addicted to anything, and electronic addictions are no exception. I'll post a few to the right. But what's really important is what does Scripture say about addictions?

Some will be quick to point out that Scripture doesn't exactly say anything about addictions, but like much of what we talk about in this book, there are Scriptural principles that can be applied. All of us are probably more addicted to electronics than we should be. My wife calls my computer "Bertha" and jokingly accuses me of being in love with Bertha. Since I have to use it for work, I'm on it far more than I'd like more often than not. Finding a balance is the key—how often are we on our phones or computers when we don't really need to be? We are called to be stewards of everything God gives us, and that includes time. Should we consider spending less time on electronics and more time with, well—actual people? Sure, those texts and emails are to actual people (mostly), but God designed us for direct communication.

The indirect electronic connections are supposed to be for when we can't communicate directly, and how many times do we opt to communicate with someone indirectly via a text or email when there are plenty of people we could be communicating with directly? Here are a couple apps that might help you evaluate your phone usage. iPhone has one built in called Screen Time, and the Android lets you check through apps and through the Digital Wellbeing tools or Settings > Battery if you have an older Android.

I wrote this out for another student but decided it’s not bad advice for any of us. Anything you turn to when you're frustrated or bored can become an addiction--food, phone, movies--anything. The dopamine thing is real, and it's good you're on to it now. But like any addiction, it has to be a conscious decision not only to move away from the addictive behavior, but to have something to replace it.

Scripture is pretty clear--Ephesians 4:17-24 sets up the pattern:

This I say therefore, and affirm together with the Lord, that you walk no longer just as the Gentiles also walk, in the futility of their mind, being darkened in their understanding, excluded from the life of God, because of the ignorance that is in them, because of the hardness of their heart; and they, having become callous, have given themselves over to sensuality, for the practice of every kind of impurity with greediness. But you did not learn Christ in this way, if indeed you have heard Him and have been taught in Him, just as truth is in Jesus, that, in reference to your former manner of life, you lay aside the old self, which is being corrupted in accordance with the lusts of deceit, and that you be renewed in the spirit of your mind, and put on the new self, which in the likeness of God has been created in righteousness and holiness of the truth.

Here it is in a nutshell:

1. "Don't act like them" is why you want to avoid it (v.17)
2. "Lay aside the old self" is the behavior you want to quit (v. 22)
3. "Put on the new self" is the behavior to replace the old behavior (v.23)
4. "Be renewed in the spirit of your mind" is how you're going to do it (v. 23)
Being in "the likeness of God ... in righteousness and holiness" is the reminder of why you're doing it (v. 24)

God always wants us to replace bad behavior with good behavior. If you don't, it's rather like the parable about the man who threw the unclean spirit out of his house but didn't replace it with something good and solid, it says, "when [the unclean spirit] comes, it finds [the house] unoccupied, swept, and put in order. “Then it goes, and takes along with it seven other spirits more wicked than itself, and they go in and live there; and the last state of that man becomes worse than the first. That is the way it will also be with this evil generation.” The reason is that God designed us to be active, and if we don't replace one action with another action, we get bored and frustrated.

The Galatians 6 passage is important, too. The passage in context is:

Brothers, if anyone is caught in any transgression, you who are spiritual should restore him in a spirit of gentleness. Keep watch on yourself, lest you too be tempted. Bear one another's burdens, and so fulfill the law of Christ. For if anyone thinks he is something, when he is nothing, he deceives himself. But let each one test his own work, and then his reason to boast will be in himself alone and not in his neighbor. For each will have to bear his own load.

It starts with the need for someone “spiritual” to restore in gentleness. That’s the accountability partner, and they should watch lest they are tempted, too, because if you think you’re a big shot, look out. Then it ends with “let each test his own work.” We need to really examine whether what we’re doing is right, because we each have been given something to carry. The Greek word for the first "burden" that we’re supposed to help each other with is like a massive load, impossible to be carried by just one person. The second word for "burden" means one that we’ve each been given and is small enough to be carried by one person, or about the size of a backpack. The Lord will not “will not let you be tempted beyond what you can bear. But when you are tempted, He will also provide an escape, so that you can stand up under it” (1 Corinthians 10:13).

I'd also encourage you to find someone who feels the same way as you to hold you accountable for your usage. It may seem weird, but it's part of Galatians 6:2 - "Bear one another’s burdens, and thus fulfill the law of Christ." It's not just her helping you, it's how the body of Christ is supposed to work.

I truly believe if we do have a problem it’s something the Lord wants to help us with, and we won’t be able to shake it without Him.